Seasons of the Soul

Inevitable Spring

We’ve passed through the shadow of the worst economic downturn since the Great Depression, and in the throes of its gloom and doom, we have no idea what is ahead. However, one thing remains a constant in all situations. Just as Winter inevitably comes, so does Spring. And in this new season we see the seeds of hope for our country’s economic recovery. Pundits will examine and cross examine every nuance and momentary lull or rise in the markets, so it’s incumbent on us NOT to get caught in the drama of the day. It can look like a famine or harvest, depending on what tidbit of news is extracted and focused upon, but here is the opportunity to practice serenity in the midst of whatever confronts us on the outside, and is why enriching our inner life is so vitally important to our full sense of wellbeing.

Life will always present us with ups and downs. That is a given. It is what we do with them that defines the quality of our lives, and it is the challenge we all face when confronting hurdles. Our perception of what we see and what we make of it determines our reality—so like the beautiful Zen postcard I have on my wall that shows a little man who is unperturbed by appearances—half  in rain and half in glorious sun, “Be Happy/All Life/Some Sun/Some rain.”

And now, Spring!

From Seasons of the Soul print edition, Spring 2009

Never Say Never!

“I don’t want an indoor cat!” With that statement, I more or less let my daughters know that my great-aunt’s cat would have to find a home with one of them. We would certainly never just give her away, but even though I seemed to be the obvious choice for taking her, I was concerned about having “another responsibility.” Caring for my great-aunt and the concerns for her health and wellbeing had been on my shoulders for 20 years. I was looking forward to having some time without responsibility. Now that my sweet little 101 year old relative was in a Care Home, I was relieved of worry about her, so having a cat to think about just didn’t fit in to my plans.

While I was making arrangements for moving everything from my great-aunt’s apartment, I had a friend who lived in the same complex come in and feed Patsy (that is the cat’s name). This went on for a week. I would also go visit, and she always greeted me in the same warm fashion I’d been accustomed to throughout the six years she lived with my great aunt. In fact, I was the one who chose her from the Stanford Rescue Mission. She was very sweet, and I thought would be a perfect companion for my great aunt, who had recently lost her beloved pet of fifteen years.

Fast forward to present time. Both my daughters have cats, and one has a dog as well. Patsy is an “only” cat, and also an indoor cat.

“I don’t want a cat!”

“But mom, you already have two outdoor cats that you had fixed when they were little, and you have to be responsible for them. What’s the difference with having another one?”

“I don’t want an indoor cat!”

“Well, mom, if you really feel that way, both your son in laws are really up for having Patsy come live with either of us. But I think it’s a mistake. Patsy knows and loves you.”

End of conversation.

I went to see Patsy, and she was especially sweet and loving, and I thought about my girls and the responsibilities they had, and thought maybe I should just at  least take Patsy for a little while. I mean really, it was true, I already had two feral cats who I had to have taken care of whenever we went away, so what was one more...for the short term...until a good home could be found for her.

My birthday was on a Saturday, and we went to my great-aunt’s apartment to pick up a few things. We happened to bring my friend’s cat carrier, too, and she graciously came up to the apartment and helped us get Patsy into the carrier. Patsy meowed mournfully on our drive to our home, but once she was in the house, she rolled over and purred and bonked her head against all the furniture, acting as though she’d lived here forever.

“She’s very sweet, isn’t she?” I asked my partner. He thought she was very cute.

“Maybe she needs a special little bed,” I said. Luckily, there was a pet store just down the hill.

“Well, just so she’s comfortable until we do something different….” and off I went to the store. A kitty condo, two beds, scratching posts, new high sided kitty pan, brushes and combs, special dishes, and many toys later, Patsy is here to stay.  The girls came over for a visit one Sunday and noted how she fit in. Both were somewhat jealous because their cats aren’t nearly so nice.

“Mom...wouldn’t you like to trade?”

“NO! Patsy is OUR cat!”

Moral of the story:

Never say Never.

From Seasons of the Soul print edition, Spring 2008

An Invisible Thread

A hungry young boy and a high powered executive have a chance encounter that changes both their lives for the better. This riveting true story about a 25 year friendship that appeared unlikely in the beginning to outsiders has become the stuff of which dreams are made. If each of us would truly look at one another as real people and take the time to "see", just think what we could do to bring about heaven on earth!

An Invisible Thread, by Laura Schroff and Alex Tresniowski

http://www.amazon.com/Invisible-Thread-11-Year-Old-Panhandler-Executive/dp/1451642512/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1338583573&sr=8-1

 

Rita Hayworth danicing to Stayin Alive

This is a very well edited short video showing the quality of productions in the past that not only had talent, but class...something sadly missing in most of today's entertainment.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mz3CPzdCDws

An Agent For Peace

By Charles "Tom" Brown

In this time of fear and war, the question we must all ask is, “How can I be an agent for peace?” First of all, this means being peace. This is why it is so important for us to go within, quiet our minds, and expand our capacity to look, to see, to understand.

If we destroy our “enemies” we destroy a part of ourselves. It may be a part we do not want to acknowledge or deal with, but it is still a part of us. We cannot hurt others without hurting ourselves. The only reason for destroying our “enemies” is to support our self-deception that “we are not like them”. An eye for an eye response brings only mass blindness.

The unawakened mind is at war with itself and the way things are. Compassion and a greatness of heart arise when we stop the war. The deepest desire we have to our human heart is to discover how to do this. We all share a longing to go beyond the confines of our fear and anger and to connect with something greater than “I”, “Me” and “mine”, greater than our small story and our small self. Our challenge is to discover peace and connectedness in ourselves and to stop the war in and around us.

Sharon Salzberg, a Buddhist teacher, eloquently describes peace as “a deep harmony, a connection to the deepest places within us, deeper than the changing circumstances of our lives.”

Every time we set ourselves aside, even in small ways, every time we reach out and connect with the pain and struggles of others, every time we love something or someone unconditionally, we are agents for peace. We are peace.

From Seasons of the Soul print edition, Spring 2008

It's A Wonderful World

Stunning photography and reminder to appreciate this beautiful planet!

http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=auSo1MyWf8g

Turning Anxiety Into Awareness

I spoke recently to a Traumatic Brain Injury support group. These are people who had accidents or health events that caused trauma to the brain – and their lives have been changed in such a way that they react differently and sometimes uncontrollably to situations or stress in their lives. My talk was about the importance of Emergency Preparedness in case of natural disasters, especially earthquakes. One of the women was noticeably in tears at points during my talk, and she commented that when you have had a major trauma you become anxious about everything. And it caused me to pause and reflect about how any type of trauma can cause anxiety about life. We take everything for granted, expecting that each day will be like the next. Yet, when something occurs that unsettles that routine, we are left in a state of momentary or long-term shock, and it rattles our notion of life and our place in it. 

Last year I broke my arm after a freak fall in my garden, and I am very hesitant every time I am near the place where I fell. Anxiety rises. Many years ago as a teenager, I had a minor car accident, and as a result I became very cautious when driving – aware that I was not invincible and that other people did not always pay attention to stop lights or other rules I’d learned in driving school. When we had our earthquake in the Bay Area in 1989, many of us were polarized by that event. It took months of talking it out with friends, neighbors, and our work mates to absorb the shock and bring us back again to a point of seeming normalcy. The fabric of reality was disrupted by an event over which we had no control, and our comfort zone was definitely shaken up. 

One thing that came to mind as the woman in the Traumatic Brain Injury group shared her anxiety was that we need to turn anxiety into awareness. The mind has a way of attempting to shield us from being hurt, and when there is a big event, we hold on to the memory of it and put up a shield to anything that may reflect that situation. Yet, the opportunity in an uncontrollable event is to become more aware. For instance, as a result of my broken arm, I am much more deliberate about watching where I am walking and paying attention to what my surroundings are. After the auto accident, I recognized that I needed to pay attention to the drivers around me. It wasn’t important to be the first one to move forward on a green light – it was important to make sure that all the cars in the cross traffic had come to a full stop.

As I explained to the Brain Injury group, what Emergency Preparedness does for us is to provide us with the tools for coping in the event of something unforeseen. By being aware of our surroundings and knowing steps to take in order to help ourselves through an event, we are developing an internal insurance policy that will carry us in times of need. Just as we learn how to do a Heimlich Maneuver or CPR, anything that will give us more information about self-reliance and how to handle ourselves in unforeseen situations, will empower us. It turns anxiety – which is a feeling of helplessness – into awareness. And awareness allows us to take control of a situation, rather than being victimized by it.

Awareness cannot stop uncontrollable events, but it gives us the ability to cope with them because we practice being conscious of where we are in space and time. Examples of this include minor things like paying attention to where we park our car. Is it in a safe space? Who is around when we park? What is the feeling we get about where we are? Is a little voice inside saying, this is not the place to park, and do we listen to that voice or dismiss it? When we leave our homes, do we make sure that appliances are turned off like washing machines, dryers, and dishwashers? Do we make sure the burners of our stove are off, and that the heater is off, and that we’ve closed windows and locked doors? Disasters often occur when no one is home, so when we take steps to make sure that we’ve done our part consciously to help avoid needless issues, we are using awareness as an insurance policy.

Paying attention becomes a valuable tool for turning anxiety into awareness because it gives us the ability to feel empowered rather than helpless. When we walk through our lives consciously we are prepared to react to situations before they become traumatic events, and that ability insures that if there is something that can be done, we will have the awareness to do it. And if we cannot change an event, we can at least find our way through it with a greater degree of confidence in our ability to manage the outcome.

From Seasons of the Soul print edition, Spring 2008

The Swan

This laboring through what is still undone, as though, legs bound, we hobbled along the way, is like the awkward walking of the swan. And dying—to let go, no longer feel the solid ground we stand on every day– is like his anxious letting himself fall Into the water, which receives him gently and which, as though with reverence and joy, draws back past him in streams on either side; while infinitely silent and aware, in his full majesty and ever more indifferent, he condescends to glide.

-Rainer Maria Rilke

Great Truths Adults Have Learned

1. Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.

2. Wrinkles don't hurt.

3. Families are like fudge -- mostly sweet, with a few nuts

4. Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.

5. Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.

6. Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.

And as we age further, here are another couple truths:

1. Growing old is mandatory, but growing up is optional.      

2. When you fall down, look to see what else can be done while you're down there.

Using Imagination to Turn Negative to Positive

Would you like to discover another Meditation?
 
First thing in the morning, imagine yourself tremendously happy. Get out of bed in a very happy mood—radiant, bubbling, expectant - as if something perfect, of infinite value, is going to happen today. Get out of the bed in a very positive and hopeful mood, with the feeling that this day is not going to be an ordinary day - that something exceptional, extraordinary, is waiting for you; something is very close by. Try and remember it again and again for the whole day. Within seven days you will see that your whole pattern, your whole style, your whole vibration, has changed.

When you go to sleep in the night, just imagine that you are falling into divine hands...as if God is supporting you, that you are in His lap, falling asleep. Just visualize it and fall asleep. The one thing to carry is that you should go on imagining and let sleep come, so that the imagination enters into sleep; they are overlapping.

Don’t imagine any negative thing, because if people who have an imaginative capacity imagine negative things, they start happening. If you think that you are going to get ill, you will get ill. If you think that somebody is going to be rude to you, he will be. Your very imagination will create the situation.

So if a negative idea comes, immediately change it to a positive thought. Say no to it. Drop it immediately; throw it away.

Within a week you will start feeling that you are becoming very happy for no reason at all.

~From Osho: The Passion for the Impossible, #3

The light which shines in the eye is really the light of the heart. The light which fills the heart is the light of God.